I love my girlfriend (C), more than anyone I've ever dated. We were even scheming to get a marriage license at one point, which could easily have been done before I became legally female.
But we had a few things to discuss, so we were, well, discussing them last night on our nightly walk. Something that had been more evident to her than me came up, and (sorry to about 2% of you) yes, I have yet another Important Announcement to make.
It's high time I came out of the closet for the third time. Folks, I'm straight. Yes, the rumors are true. We had a good cry or three, and it turns out it's okay I'm not gay.
But wait, what do "straight" and "gay" mean in terms of transgendered folks? I'm glad I asked!
It's commonly argued that trannies defy these terms. Well, sure, we screw up a lot of otherwise neat labels. We're complex numbers on some kind of weird Kinsey plane:
a) I prefer other girls (trans or not) on the relationship side, but men (trans or not) are where my hormones lie. I identified as bisexual before transitioning, to varying degrees of openness (not to mention varying Kinsey scores).
b) I've dated women and men about equally (that is, not much) both before and after transitioning.
c) I don't plan on dating other girls anymore.
Hmm.
Does "straight" really describe me now? No, not really, especially with us pesky transsexuals in the picture again. If I had to pick a sexual preference label, that would be the one. When it gets down to it, I'm a woman who prefers men.
Transpeople also throw a wrench in the works when you look at it the other way around. Is a man who exclusively dates post-operative transgurls straight? What if they're pre-op? (Assume he's not a tranny chaser.) To be politically correct, he should be referred to as straight in both cases. In reality, it's more like Richard Pryor's catchphrase in that awful 80s movie: "None of the Above."
(Incidentally, C and I are still together, but now calling it officially okay if either of us finds someone else. And we plan on remaining lifelong friends regardless.)
Glad you've explained this, since it's such a difficult thing to try to figure out. It looks like you're on your way to getting everything sorted--I'm very glad that you have C as a friend!
It really is a difficult process figuring out what's going to make you happy! Too many people never even get close.
I'm obviously still very much in that process, albeit light years ahead of where I was just a couple years ago, and I'm sooo lucky and glad to have met and been with C. However improbable our relationship is/was. =)
Get It Straight! - 05/08/06 05:26 AM
But we had a few things to discuss, so we were, well, discussing them last night on our nightly walk. Something that had been more evident to her than me came up, and (sorry to about 2% of you) yes, I have yet another Important Announcement to make.
It's high time I came out of the closet for the third time. Folks, I'm straight. Yes, the rumors are true. We had a good cry or three, and it turns out it's okay I'm not gay.
But wait, what do "straight" and "gay" mean in terms of transgendered folks? I'm glad I asked!
It's commonly argued that trannies defy these terms. Well, sure, we screw up a lot of otherwise neat labels. We're complex numbers on some kind of weird Kinsey plane:
a) I prefer other girls (trans or not) on the relationship side, but men (trans or not) are where my hormones lie. I identified as bisexual before transitioning, to varying degrees of openness (not to mention varying Kinsey scores).
b) I've dated women and men about equally (that is, not much) both before and after transitioning.
c) I don't plan on dating other girls anymore.
Hmm.
Does "straight" really describe me now? No, not really, especially with us pesky transsexuals in the picture again. If I had to pick a sexual preference label, that would be the one. When it gets down to it, I'm a woman who prefers men.
Transpeople also throw a wrench in the works when you look at it the other way around. Is a man who exclusively dates post-operative transgurls straight? What if they're pre-op? (Assume he's not a tranny chaser.) To be politically correct, he should be referred to as straight in both cases. In reality, it's more like Richard Pryor's catchphrase in that awful 80s movie: "None of the Above."
(Incidentally, C and I are still together, but now calling it officially okay if either of us finds someone else. And we plan on remaining lifelong friends regardless.)
Related entry
Posted in sexuality by Milla | Comments (2)
Glad you've explained this, since it's such a difficult thing to try to figure out. It looks like you're on your way to getting everything sorted--I'm very glad that you have C as a friend!
Posted by patita at May 9, 2006 09:53 AM
It really is a difficult process figuring out what's going to make you happy! Too many people never even get close.
I'm obviously still very much in that process, albeit light years ahead of where I was just a couple years ago, and I'm sooo lucky and glad to have met and been with C. However improbable our relationship is/was. =)
Posted by Milla at May 9, 2006 06:49 PM