Patita Pirata asks: "Is there anything you miss about living as a man? On the flip side, what's your favorite thing about living as a woman?"
Good questions, Patita!
I don't miss much about living in the male role, but a few things were easier to deal with.
I think the thing I miss the most, and I hope it's not disappointing, was passing so flawlessly. I was ma'amed 7-8 times in my 29-year lifespan before I transitioned. That wouldn't be a great passing rate for a non-trans person, but much better than I am likely to get now, even if I "went back."
I also miss some aspects of male privilege. Yes, guys, it's very real. I had more license to act and present myself in certain ways because, after all, boys will be boys. Well... usually. I was allowed to act smarter and more confident, and customer service/tech support guys seemed more eager to please me, and more confident in the information I provided. 'Cause girls don't know nothing about boy stuff.
And then of course, being a girl is a huge pain sometimes because we're expected to put a lot more effort into our day-to-day appearances. Which leads neatly to your next question; It's actually my favorite thing at the same time!
I have to admit that my favorite thing about femalehood is appearance: body shape, clothes, jewelry, makeup. It feels a lot more natural, and it can be a lot of fun to get dolled up and go out without fear of ridicule. The clothes are far more interesting and varied, and much more comfortable usually.
Being allowed to have and show feelings is a definite plus. I'm not ridiculed when I cry. We're allowed to touch each other.
Except the occasional cattiness, women have a sort of empathy for each other I really appreciate. When I'm with other women, I don't feel like an outsider like I do with men, and I'm not automatically assumed to meet male stereotypes, especially negative ones. I can look at other girls and their clothes without them assuming I'm gawking at their figures. I feel like I belong. I can bash men. (But only in fun, guys!)
It's way easier for me to get dates, especially with boys, now.
Brights, pastels, and especially pinks are no longer a mortal sin. And there are more than 8 colors at all.
I could go on for hours about why I'm glad I'm female in umpteen-hundred ways, but those are my favorite!
I had a feeling that male privelege would sneak in there, it's the biggest general social issue that women confront on a daily basis. We'd all like to be treated with more respect without having to demand it (and then be accused of being pushy, etc). Welcome to paying more for clothes and haircuts! Passing was something that hadn't occured to me, but it makes sense.
As for living as a woman, it sounds like you love the freedom of it--to let your inside be reflected on the outside. And the accessories! :) It's true, we've got far more options for expression (from earrings to weeping openly). Not to mention going to the restroom in groups and talking! Sounds like a good trade over all!
I agree wholeheartedly on the clothing issue... Men's clothes are certainly far more boring, not too mention usually more expensive. I wish the Renaissance look would come back in, I'd love to don a satin jacket, ruffle shirt, powdered wig, and high-heeled buckle shoes on a daily basis! Hmmm, what does that say about me? :S
And you are spot on about the relationship differences... I wish more men could just talk and not have to jabber on endlessly about sports or cars... Bleh!
Patita: Other than a strong sense of finally being "home", that's pretty much it! =) I think I made out pretty well on the trade. Women up here in Wisconsin get less respect in public than back home in West Virginia and Ohio. It's frustrating!
Mike: Haha. Do you do the ren faire thing? I'm almost kind of interested; it looks like fun. Being a wench would be kinda cool.
Since our (so called) modern society places so much importance on outward appearance, I'm glad to see you being yourself because when you live with integrity, others will treat you with the respect you deserve. M2F people face a kind of double discrimination from society at large. First, there's the manufactured stigma of the gender issue, and secondly there's the historic mistreatment of women in society in general.
I hope it's not in bad taste to say that it takes balls to live as a M2F person. You can be proud to be who you are because "fitting in" and denying yourself in order to please society at large is for the meek, and as Frank Zappa once said, "The meek shall inherit nothing."
You, on the other hand, have inherited some happiness and a sense of well being, and I applaud that.
Ask a Tranny #1 - 07/24/06 03:22 AM
Patita Pirata asks: "Is there anything you miss about living as a man? On the flip side, what's your favorite thing about living as a woman?"
Good questions, Patita!
I don't miss much about living in the male role, but a few things were easier to deal with.
I think the thing I miss the most, and I hope it's not disappointing, was passing so flawlessly. I was ma'amed 7-8 times in my 29-year lifespan before I transitioned. That wouldn't be a great passing rate for a non-trans person, but much better than I am likely to get now, even if I "went back."
I also miss some aspects of male privilege. Yes, guys, it's very real. I had more license to act and present myself in certain ways because, after all, boys will be boys. Well... usually. I was allowed to act smarter and more confident, and customer service/tech support guys seemed more eager to please me, and more confident in the information I provided. 'Cause girls don't know nothing about boy stuff.
And then of course, being a girl is a huge pain sometimes because we're expected to put a lot more effort into our day-to-day appearances. Which leads neatly to your next question; It's actually my favorite thing at the same time!
I have to admit that my favorite thing about femalehood is appearance: body shape, clothes, jewelry, makeup. It feels a lot more natural, and it can be a lot of fun to get dolled up and go out without fear of ridicule. The clothes are far more interesting and varied, and much more comfortable usually.
Being allowed to have and show feelings is a definite plus. I'm not ridiculed when I cry. We're allowed to touch each other.
Except the occasional cattiness, women have a sort of empathy for each other I really appreciate. When I'm with other women, I don't feel like an outsider like I do with men, and I'm not automatically assumed to meet male stereotypes, especially negative ones. I can look at other girls and their clothes without them assuming I'm gawking at their figures. I feel like I belong. I can bash men. (But only in fun, guys!)
It's way easier for me to get dates, especially with boys, now.
Brights, pastels, and especially pinks are no longer a mortal sin. And there are more than 8 colors at all.
I could go on for hours about why I'm glad I'm female in umpteen-hundred ways, but those are my favorite!
Posted in ask_a_tranny, playing_boy, transition by Milla | Comments (5)
I had a feeling that male privelege would sneak in there, it's the biggest general social issue that women confront on a daily basis. We'd all like to be treated with more respect without having to demand it (and then be accused of being pushy, etc). Welcome to paying more for clothes and haircuts! Passing was something that hadn't occured to me, but it makes sense.
As for living as a woman, it sounds like you love the freedom of it--to let your inside be reflected on the outside. And the accessories! :) It's true, we've got far more options for expression (from earrings to weeping openly). Not to mention going to the restroom in groups and talking! Sounds like a good trade over all!
Posted by patita at July 25, 2006 02:39 PM
I agree wholeheartedly on the clothing issue... Men's clothes are certainly far more boring, not too mention usually more expensive. I wish the Renaissance look would come back in, I'd love to don a satin jacket, ruffle shirt, powdered wig, and high-heeled buckle shoes on a daily basis! Hmmm, what does that say about me? :S
And you are spot on about the relationship differences... I wish more men could just talk and not have to jabber on endlessly about sports or cars... Bleh!
Posted by surrealmonk at July 25, 2006 03:37 PM
Patita: Other than a strong sense of finally being "home", that's pretty much it! =) I think I made out pretty well on the trade. Women up here in Wisconsin get less respect in public than back home in West Virginia and Ohio. It's frustrating!
Mike: Haha. Do you do the ren faire thing? I'm almost kind of interested; it looks like fun. Being a wench would be kinda cool.
Posted by Milla at July 25, 2006 04:22 PM
Since our (so called) modern society places so much importance on outward appearance, I'm glad to see you being yourself because when you live with integrity, others will treat you with the respect you deserve. M2F people face a kind of double discrimination from society at large. First, there's the manufactured stigma of the gender issue, and secondly there's the historic mistreatment of women in society in general.
I hope it's not in bad taste to say that it takes balls to live as a M2F person. You can be proud to be who you are because "fitting in" and denying yourself in order to please society at large is for the meek, and as Frank Zappa once said, "The meek shall inherit nothing."
You, on the other hand, have inherited some happiness and a sense of well being, and I applaud that.
Posted by nummy at July 25, 2006 06:07 PM
I should like to hear more about the perks please?
Posted by Connie at March 23, 2008 08:19 PM