Yep, mm-hmm. Cisphobia. n. The irrational fear, loathing, or distrust of a cisgendered person or group of people.
It sounds like the latest vocabulary word over at Freeperville, but it's not. Let me explain.
Just the other night, Connie and I were doing some shopping. I paid the cashier this time. Usually, it's no more problem for me than anybody else anymore, but this time, I grew a bit nervous approaching the checkout.
Just like old times. We've been shopping at that exact Copps store on occasion since I first visited my brother here in Appleton. I didn't pass back then, and we've gone there often enough since that some employees probably know me. It was getting near closing. Three cashier/bagger ladies were sparsely congregated at the two lanes nearest the main exit, looking as if they'd been talking.
My mind begins to click and whir as I approach. This is unusual now that I pass well. Why? They must be gossiping. About what? Me, of course: I'm trans. And they know it from back then. They must have been gossiping about me. Their demeanor seemed "off" to me, especially when the other cashier picked up a can of tuna I dropped.
I talked about it with Connie out in the parking lot, mildly upset, but she'd noticed nothing strange at all.
There's a chance I was right, but that's beside the point. I jumped on these assumptions with little more solid evidence than me being transgendered.
I've noticed that I'm far from the only transperson to have this persecution complex on occasion. For example, an older trans friend of mine, who shops at the musicians' store I used to work at, was totally convinced they talked about her when she left. Once, I carefully "spied" on them for her after she left the store one time. (I wasn't out at work yet.) Not so much as a look or a peep out of anyone. I let her know it was cool, and she was visibly relieved.
Cisphobia is understandable when you consider the social climate for transpeople, even today. It's improving in most areas, but still far from friendly. Assuming everyone is trans-friendly can even be hazardous to your physical safety. But the other extreme, cisphobia, can be a trap, leading one to have feelings and suspicions that closely resemble acute paranoia.
My fellow transfolks, it's possible to be too careful, and it can damage the individual happiness and social health we've worked so hard for.
Often, we transfolks are asked what it feels like to be a brain in the wrong skin. And we try our damnedest to explain or draw analogies, but these are usually met with blank stares. It's a very difficult concept to wrap your head around, unless you've experienced it for yourself.
Late last year, I came across a video which is, by far, the best representation of the joys of transgenderism that I've ever seen.
It's a very, very powerful short CGI film that I honestly can't view all the way through. It's just way too upsetting for me. Even thinking too much about it (or blogging about it) still tends to make my eyes wet and my throat sting.
So, yeah, fair warning: You may not want to watch this if you're trans, especially MtF.
Yep, mm-hmm. Cisphobia. n. The irrational fear, loathing, or distrust of a cisgendered person or group of people.
It sounds like the latest vocabulary word over at Freeperville, but it's not. Let me explain.
Just the other night, Connie and I were doing some shopping. I paid the cashier this time. Usually, it's no more problem for me than anybody else anymore, but this time, I grew a bit nervous approaching the checkout.
Just like old times. We've been shopping at that exact Copps store on occasion since I first visited my brother here in Appleton. I didn't pass back then, and we've gone there often enough since that some employees probably know me. It was getting near closing. Three cashier/bagger ladies were sparsely congregated at the two lanes nearest the main exit, looking as if they'd been talking.
My mind begins to click and whir as I approach. This is unusual now that I pass well. Why? They must be gossiping. About what? Me, of course: I'm trans. And they know it from back then. They must have been gossiping about me. Their demeanor seemed "off" to me, especially when the other cashier picked up a can of tuna I dropped.
I talked about it with Connie out in the parking lot, mildly upset, but she'd noticed nothing strange at all.
There's a chance I was right, but that's beside the point. I jumped on these assumptions with little more solid evidence than me being transgendered.
I've noticed that I'm far from the only transperson to have this persecution complex on occasion. For example, an older trans friend of mine, who shops at the musicians' store I used to work at, was totally convinced they talked about her when she left. Once, I carefully "spied" on them for her after she left the store one time. (I wasn't out at work yet.) Not so much as a look or a peep out of anyone. I let her know it was cool, and she was visibly relieved.
Cisphobia is understandable when you consider the social climate for transpeople, even today. It's improving in most areas, but still far from friendly. Assuming everyone is trans-friendly can even be hazardous to your physical safety. But the other extreme, cisphobia, can be a trap, leading one to have feelings and suspicions that closely resemble acute paranoia.
My fellow transfolks, it's possible to be too careful, and it can damage the individual happiness and social health we've worked so hard for.
If we're not careful.
Posted in transition by Milla | Comments (3)
Often, we transfolks are asked what it feels like to be a brain in the wrong skin. And we try our damnedest to explain or draw analogies, but these are usually met with blank stares. It's a very difficult concept to wrap your head around, unless you've experienced it for yourself.
Late last year, I came across a video which is, by far, the best representation of the joys of transgenderism that I've ever seen.
It's a very, very powerful short CGI film that I honestly can't view all the way through. It's just way too upsetting for me. Even thinking too much about it (or blogging about it) still tends to make my eyes wet and my throat sting.
So, yeah, fair warning: You may not want to watch this if you're trans, especially MtF.
Doll Face
Posted in misc by Milla | Comments (1)