My sister Allison gave me the best Christmas present I ever got.
But it wasn't the glass frame and photo above. (Though that's up there.) She accepted me as her sister! I could bawl. In fact, I did once in an IM conversation a month or so ago when she called me "sis."
The holiday trip home, although I didn't get to see anyone I wanted outside the family, went even better than I expected. Nobody even seemed nervous or freaked out-- even Mom-- and my name and pronouns were respected minus a couple slips.
Except for a nasty off-on toothache, it was perhaps the best week of my life. Connie says it was for her too.
That's me with the present wrappings Connie put all over me.
Once upon a time, when I was but a wee little tranny tot, in the first grade wayyyy back in 1981, I had some friends. Not a huge lot of friends, but the friends I did have were close ones. One of them-- let's call him Kelly, not his real name-- was every bit the sissy I was, if I may.
We kind of latched on to each other. We had an affinity for small, cute things. We sucked at sports and liked it that way. We hated loud music and never went shirtless. We giggled and acted prissy to others for our own entertainment.
And yes, we even sang girls' hand-clapping rhymes:
Ask me no more questions,
Tell me no more lies,
The boys are in the bathroom,
Zipping up their-
Flies are in the city...
Etcetera.
Even back then, some of the other kids around his neighborhood (the less sheltered ones) thought we were boyfriends. "YER GAAAAY! Huh huh huh."
But what they were missing out on was that we weren't boyfriends, we were just close girlfriends. I say this not out of assumption on my part, but because Kelly admitted to me that "he" felt like a girl, and took me into his neighbor's garage several times one summer, where he'd briefly put on a sundress lying on one of the boxes in there.
He urged me to wear the dress once or twice, but I was too chickenshit at the time. I hadn't even done that in private yet, never mind right in front of someone. He told me not to worry, that he did it all the time. I was afraid to even be in there for fear of being caught. But I actually did want to try it on, soooo baaaad.
I never did wear it. Oh well.
Eventually, sometime before our journeys into hell (read: male puberty), we slowly parted ways. He moved away without so much as a goodbye. And wow, this was a parting of ways to be reckoned with.
Back to modern day. It's really early, and I can't sleep. I'm trying once more to lookup-and-hookup old friends, admittedly doing a little cyberstalking in an attempt to find Kelly.
I feel dirty, in a bad way. But find him, I did!
I hate to bring politics to Transgurl. I try actively to avoid it. But I'll do it just this once, because it's the point of this entry, and is trans-related here:
He's now a professional politico, and quite the activist. He's even hung out with Ronald Reagan (pre-Alzheimer's). I read his article about how great Reagan was.
Most perplexing and disappointing, he's against queer rights.
I'm not really surprised, overall, but I am a bit disappointed and saddened. I'm obviously not going to say that all people who lean far conservative are suppressing sides of themselves they're not entirely comfortable with, because that would be outright false and stupid. But it seems that, sadly, that is what has happened with Kelly.
I have his email address right in front of me. I'm fighting off the terrible urge to contact him, to tell him I came out, to try and catch up on old times, but I have a strong hunch that it wouldn't go so well, and I don't think he's interested in clapping hands anymore.
Maybe he really was lucky enough to find peace in denial. Maybe I'm doing him a favor by not writing him.
I finally got rid of an unwanted part of my anatomy a couple days ago!
I have pretty nice teeth overall, but one of them, a molar, had broken in the summer sometime and had gotten really painful at times during my holiday visit home.
Today, at the Tri-County Dental Clinic in Appleton, I finally managed to get the bugger removed. Ten bucks! Huge thanks to all the donors and volunteers; it's a great service to the local community.
It ended up being a complicated surgical extraction, and the most difficult thing I've been through, including a root canal, a tendon re-attachment, and intensive facial electrolysis right below the nose. Nasty. Twelve shots total of Novocaine. I was numbed, literally, up to my right eyeball.
So over that evening, and all day yesterday and today, I've been doing Pretty Okay with a tab of Vicodin every few hours and chocolate ice cream as needed.
And while I'm writing a personal entry: my early probation discharge was officially recognized on January 17th. So the legal mess is behind me, and I'm a free girl. Woo!
My sister Allison gave me the best Christmas present I ever got.
But it wasn't the glass frame and photo above. (Though that's up there.) She accepted me as her sister! I could bawl. In fact, I did once in an IM conversation a month or so ago when she called me "sis."
The holiday trip home, although I didn't get to see anyone I wanted outside the family, went even better than I expected. Nobody even seemed nervous or freaked out-- even Mom-- and my name and pronouns were respected minus a couple slips.
Except for a nasty off-on toothache, it was perhaps the best week of my life. Connie says it was for her too.
That's me with the present wrappings Connie put all over me.
Posted in coming_out, misc by Milla | Comments (3)
Once upon a time, when I was but a wee little tranny tot, in the first grade wayyyy back in 1981, I had some friends. Not a huge lot of friends, but the friends I did have were close ones. One of them-- let's call him Kelly, not his real name-- was every bit the sissy I was, if I may.
We kind of latched on to each other. We had an affinity for small, cute things. We sucked at sports and liked it that way. We hated loud music and never went shirtless. We giggled and acted prissy to others for our own entertainment.
And yes, we even sang girls' hand-clapping rhymes:
Etcetera.
Even back then, some of the other kids around his neighborhood (the less sheltered ones) thought we were boyfriends. "YER GAAAAY! Huh huh huh."
But what they were missing out on was that we weren't boyfriends, we were just close girlfriends. I say this not out of assumption on my part, but because Kelly admitted to me that "he" felt like a girl, and took me into his neighbor's garage several times one summer, where he'd briefly put on a sundress lying on one of the boxes in there.
He urged me to wear the dress once or twice, but I was too chickenshit at the time. I hadn't even done that in private yet, never mind right in front of someone. He told me not to worry, that he did it all the time. I was afraid to even be in there for fear of being caught. But I actually did want to try it on, soooo baaaad.
I never did wear it. Oh well.
Eventually, sometime before our journeys into hell (read: male puberty), we slowly parted ways. He moved away without so much as a goodbye. And wow, this was a parting of ways to be reckoned with.
Back to modern day. It's really early, and I can't sleep. I'm trying once more to lookup-and-hookup old friends, admittedly doing a little cyberstalking in an attempt to find Kelly.
I feel dirty, in a bad way. But find him, I did!
I hate to bring politics to Transgurl. I try actively to avoid it. But I'll do it just this once, because it's the point of this entry, and is trans-related here:
He's now a professional politico, and quite the activist. He's even hung out with Ronald Reagan (pre-Alzheimer's). I read his article about how great Reagan was.
Most perplexing and disappointing, he's against queer rights.
I'm not really surprised, overall, but I am a bit disappointed and saddened. I'm obviously not going to say that all people who lean far conservative are suppressing sides of themselves they're not entirely comfortable with, because that would be outright false and stupid. But it seems that, sadly, that is what has happened with Kelly.
I have his email address right in front of me. I'm fighting off the terrible urge to contact him, to tell him I came out, to try and catch up on old times, but I have a strong hunch that it wouldn't go so well, and I don't think he's interested in clapping hands anymore.
Maybe he really was lucky enough to find peace in denial. Maybe I'm doing him a favor by not writing him.
I sure hope so.
Posted in hindsight by Milla | Comments (5)
I finally got rid of an unwanted part of my anatomy a couple days ago!
I have pretty nice teeth overall, but one of them, a molar, had broken in the summer sometime and had gotten really painful at times during my holiday visit home.
Today, at the Tri-County Dental Clinic in Appleton, I finally managed to get the bugger removed. Ten bucks! Huge thanks to all the donors and volunteers; it's a great service to the local community.
It ended up being a complicated surgical extraction, and the most difficult thing I've been through, including a root canal, a tendon re-attachment, and intensive facial electrolysis right below the nose. Nasty. Twelve shots total of Novocaine. I was numbed, literally, up to my right eyeball.
So over that evening, and all day yesterday and today, I've been doing Pretty Okay with a tab of Vicodin every few hours and chocolate ice cream as needed.
And while I'm writing a personal entry: my early probation discharge was officially recognized on January 17th. So the legal mess is behind me, and I'm a free girl. Woo!
Posted in misc, surgery by Milla | Comments (2)
Posted in misc, presentation by Milla | Post a Comment?