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Posted in misc by Milla | Comments (1)

Damn. Anyone who read the previous entry knows that that was a real meat-grinder of a week. Most of it, anyhoo.

I've digested the whole assault and evidence situations. Not that I'll ever be "over it" or thrilled about it, but the wound has healed despite the still-aching scar.

In any case, this regained calm and perspective is a lot more conducive to the most wonderful time of the year. And lemme tell ya what's already been said a million times: If there are Powers That Be, they have a brutal sense of humor.

Less than a week after dropping me into an abyss that would make Nietzsche squeal like a 5-year-old girl, and in this lovely economy, they gave Mike another job that pays even more than his previous one. He started this morning after finding out Friday, nearly doubling our income.

This, and the impending lengthy visits with my family (and then Connie) in late January, as well as the prospect of getting my car and bringing it to Chicago, has sent me into what looks very much like an upward spiral.

Suddenly, returning to school in late February and getting the job I'd like doesn't feel quite so far away

Huge thanks to Mike and Melissa, and my friends, family, and readers for supporting me through yet another roller coaster (this one called 2008). Happy holidays. =)

Posted in GODDAMMIT, mental, misc, relationships, transition by Milla | Comments (3)

Hello, everyone.

I got a rather badly timed call last night from the detective on my sexual assault case after a long period of silence. He left a voice message saying that the DNA test results have come in, and they found no trace of the guilty party's DNA.

I know why. It's because I swished around some Coke in my mouth shortly after returning home.

This has been, to put it very mildly, a deep disappointment that has been difficult to contain for any length of time.

I don't know whether I'll be writing a lot in the coming months, or not at all. When your entire faith in just about, well, fucking everything, is destroyed so swiftly and completely and utterly, you are all but forced to stop and thoroughly reevaluate it. Rest and regroup. Maintain your grip, however tenuous it may be at the moment.

I guess the future of this weblog depends heavily on how verbal this process ends up being for me. I may want to document every last second, or this may end up being my last entry, ever. I hope not, but this is serious. When everything's been blown up into the air, it's hard to say when or where anything will land.

So, now. Now? Now, I think I'll drop the charges, do my best to move on and forget the guy, and start focusing on the same thing I've been doing for the past year: just kind of trying to stabilize in every possible way, and build the kind of life foundation that, for me, was never really there. Quite honestly, I'm surprised my house of straw held up against the Breath of the Wolf for as long as it did.

Posted in GODDAMMIT by Milla | Post a Comment?

Hello. I got my hosting back up after what felt like an eternity of hosting/email downtime. (Probably more like two weeks.)

So, anyhoo, I hope to get things moving around these parts again soon with another real entry, and more entries will follow far more frequently than every two months. *cough*

Yay.

Posted in misc by Milla | Comments (6)